LeMons New England: A lot of Audis, A lot of Forgotten GM Automobiles, and the World’s Most Evil Vanagon

The 24 Hours of LeMons has returned to New Hampshire Motor Speedway for the third annual Halloween Hooptiefest, and we’ve got some fascinating machinery among the 130 or so entries that rolled into the garage for our traditional Friday car inspections. Let’s take a look!

First of all, the Mod Squad Vanagon made everyone stagger back in awe. The recipe: Take one third-gen Toyota MR2 that was wrapped around a shopping-mall light pole in a fit of ill-advised hoonage, take a Vanagon body and chop 11″ out of its height, do some cutting and pasting. Yes, it is now an MR2 with a giant box-shaped airbrake and 800 pounds of additional weight… and one of the greatest race cars we have ever seen. Will it be faster than the GoWesty LeMons Vanagon, with its VR6 power? We’ll see on Saturday.

We have more Audis at this race, by far, than we’ve seen at any previous LeMons event. This is partly due to the 5 identical V6-powered Audi 90s brought by the 4-rings-loving G-Tron Racing team, but we’ve got at least another 4 of the things at this race. Since A V6-engined 90 was the first Audi to take a win on laps in LeMons, there’s a small chance that we could see another Audi win (but that’s not the way to bet). Meanwhile, we also have more Subarus than at any previous race, so it’s conceivable that the car company that sports the Pleiades on its logo might manage to claw out its first LeMons overall win.

The LeMons Supreme Court’s traditional BRIBED stencil for the ’14 Hooptiefest refers to recent events that have put New Hampshire on the national radar screen.

The crazy Russians of Sputnik Racing have converted their Nissan Quest minivan into an excellent Monty Python and the Holy Grail-themed racing machine. We see a lot of Monty Python-themed LeMons teams, but never one with a cast this large, not to mention the first Black Knight costume that actually pumps “blood” from the arm stumps.

Speaking of medieval costumes, the Game of Crumple Zones Acura Integra team (winners of the Organizer’s Choice trophy at the Real Hoopties of New Jersey race) have constructed a “throne” out of a radiator and tire irons harvested from their local junkyard. The team also wears “crowns” made from old head gaskets and “rings” made from hose clamps.

Halloween may be the most LeMon-y holiday, and we saw many good costumes. Here’s a team that has chosen to dress not as characters from Smokey and the Bandit but as fans of the movie. That’s a distinction that’s probably lost on most normal people, but we get it.

The Merkurian Falcon team is back with their Skid Row Star Wars costumes. That Wookiee is looking pretty mangy.

The first team to bring a Volkswagen New Beetle to our series put together a credible Rocky Horror Picture Show theme.

3 Pedal Mafia celebrated Halloween by reprising all of their costumes from previous races.

The Lemontarians added a Chevrolet Citation X-11 to their stable, and the team put together a gigantic wedding party, complete with matching bridesmaids.

2 members of the team got married 20 years ago, and their honeymoon car was the groom’s daily-driver Citation X-11. So the team recreated both the car and the wedding for our race.

This Mustang had competed in East Coast LeMons events for the last couple of years with a 4-cylinder Pinto engine and a giant wing on the roof. For this race, the team converted the car into a Mad Max Falon XB.

Now, we’ve seen a more accurate Mad Max Aussie Falcon replica in our series, but did that car have a right-hand-drive conversion? This team imported a European Ford Granada steering box from the UK to make this happen.

In what may be a first for a Fox-body Mustang, his car now has Datsun L28 power, courtesy of the now-stripped-and-crushed Spaceballs-themed Datsun 280ZX.

The team even brought cans of Dinky-Di meat-and-vegies dog food!

With so many members of the Volkswagen Golf/Jetta family here, it takes something like this to stand out from the crowd.

The Super Grover Rover P6 is back for another shot at Class C glory.

If you’re looking for your first 24 Hours of LeMons car (and you don’t feel like choosing one of our wish-list cars), you could do a lot worse than an early Chevy Cavalier wagon. This car will be competing in Class C against the likes of the Sputnik Quest and the Super Grover Rover this weekend.

To see how the first day of racing at the ’14 Hooptiefest sorts out, check in on Saturday night.

LeMons New England: A lot of Audis, A lot of Forgotten GM Automobiles, and the World’s Most Evil Vanagon

The 5 greatest Audis of all time

There’s no shortage of fantastic German motoring brands but Audi has always managed to hold its own. We look at the best of the brand.

Mercedes, Porsche and BMW are among the most instantly recognisable German motors, but Audi certainly deserves to be spoken of in the same glowing terms as it has a very impressive heritage.

For more than 100 years the company has been thrilling the motoring public with stylish, well-built and beautifully engineered machines.

We take a walk back through history to pick 5 of the best to have worn the famous 4 rings.

Audi Quattro

We’re talking the original Quattro – the one that burst onto the scene back in the 1980s after taking the world of rallying by storm. For younger readers it was also the blood-red machine given airtime in the hit time-travelling TV show, Ashes to Ashes, where it was the car of choice for DCI Gene Hunt. The Quattro neatly falls into the category of timeless classic as its sleek lines and dramatic styling mean it doesn’t look out of place today – even though it first appeared almost 35 years ago. As well as enjoying an enviable amount of success on the rally scene, it quickly established itself as one of the most iconic road-going cars of its generation and is still more than capable of turning heads.

Audi R8

Surely a contender for being the most beautiful Audi ever made. The stunning R8 is a 2-seater sports car that wouldn’t look out of place alongside any supercar. This sleek coupé made its debut at the Paris Motor Show in 2006 and was an instant hit, while its most recent incarnation has the choice between a 430bhp V8 and a 525bhp V10. The best-performing models will take you from 0-62mph in less than 4 seconds, on their way to a top speed of almost 200mph. Unsurprisingly, getting your hands on one of these beautiful machines isn’t cheap. Prices start from £93,735 and go up to a shade under £130,000 – but if you’ve got the spare cash, an R8 is a very worthwhile addition to your garage.

Audi TT

It’s hard to believe that the TT was actually launched back in the late 1990s but this 2-door sportster quickly gained iconic status due to its distinctive styling. Originally appearing as a concept car at the 1995 Frankfurt Motor Show, it has gone on to pick up numerous accolades, including the Fifth Gear Car of the Year in 2006. Redesigned and freshened up, the latest version of the TT retains its instantly recognisable good looks but has just been modernized throughout. Available in both coupé and roadster versions, getting behind the wheel will cost you between £25,000 and £50,000.

Audi RS6

The original RS6 was introduced in 2002 and helped bolster Audi’s growing reputation for producing performance machines. Quick, powerful and stylish, it was also the first Audi to be equipped with DRC, standing for Dynamic Ride Control, which meant decent handling. The years may have passed but the RS6 Avant name lives on and the latest version has been given an impressive 9 out of 10 by Top Gear, which branded it “Laugh-out-loud fun that’;s practical, too”. As stunning inside as it is on the out, this car is worth every penny of the £75,000 or so you’ll need to get bragging rights over your neighbours.

Audi A8

In Audi’s illustrious history a number of cars stand out for particular reasons. The A8 does so because it was living proof the manufacturer could put together a decent luxury saloon that could be spoken about in the same breath as a Mercedes or Jaguar. Smooth and stylish, the eye-catching 4-door A8 arrived on the scene in the early 1990s. Particularly of note was the fact it was the world’s first aluminium-bodied production car. The latest machine to carry the A8 name carries on the innovative feel of its predecessors with plenty of gadgets and luxury. Depending on the model chosen, the price varies from £50,000 to £95,000.

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The 5 greatest Audis of all time

Audi’s R18 e-tron Le Mans Racer Leaves Residue on Porsche’s Doorstep [Video]

The 24 Heures du Mans is virtually upon us, and the masters of the Sarthe over in Ingolstadt have a message for Porsche: “Welcome back.” This message, mind you, was delivered with a wholesome level of professionalism and decorum—by writing it by means of R18 e-tron burnout near Porsche’s facilities. 

Porsche, of course, has won the darn issue with almost everything from the McQueen-dream 917K to the silhouette-racer 935 to the nominally-a-Neunelfer 911 GT1. And that is just the all round stuff. They’ve been racking up class victories since Ferdinand Piëch was in engineer’s short pants.

In reality, Porsche tends to make its Le Mans–dominant VW Group counterparts at Audi appear like relative neophytes in comparison. This year, ultimately, the 2 favored sons of Ferd go head-to-head on the storied Circuit de la Sarthe course in the LMP1 class.

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To celebrate the entry of Porsche’s 919 Hybrid into the top-class fray, Audi’s produced a cute tiny video in which an R18 e-tron quattro winds its way from Bavaria to Baden-Württemburg, surprising passerby on the way. A runner gets a start off. An old Porsche tractor gets passed. A deer inexplicably does not run out in front of the vehicle. Then the Audi lays the automotive equivalent of a flaming bag of canine feces at Porsche’s doorstep. Watch and get pleasure from.

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Audi’s R18 e-tron Le Mans Racer Leaves Residue on Porsche’s Doorstep [Video]