LeMons New England: A lot of Audis, A lot of Forgotten GM Automobiles, and the World’s Most Evil Vanagon

The 24 Hours of LeMons has returned to New Hampshire Motor Speedway for the third annual Halloween Hooptiefest, and we’ve got some fascinating machinery among the 130 or so entries that rolled into the garage for our traditional Friday car inspections. Let’s take a look!

First of all, the Mod Squad Vanagon made everyone stagger back in awe. The recipe: Take one third-gen Toyota MR2 that was wrapped around a shopping-mall light pole in a fit of ill-advised hoonage, take a Vanagon body and chop 11″ out of its height, do some cutting and pasting. Yes, it is now an MR2 with a giant box-shaped airbrake and 800 pounds of additional weight… and one of the greatest race cars we have ever seen. Will it be faster than the GoWesty LeMons Vanagon, with its VR6 power? We’ll see on Saturday.

We have more Audis at this race, by far, than we’ve seen at any previous LeMons event. This is partly due to the 5 identical V6-powered Audi 90s brought by the 4-rings-loving G-Tron Racing team, but we’ve got at least another 4 of the things at this race. Since A V6-engined 90 was the first Audi to take a win on laps in LeMons, there’s a small chance that we could see another Audi win (but that’s not the way to bet). Meanwhile, we also have more Subarus than at any previous race, so it’s conceivable that the car company that sports the Pleiades on its logo might manage to claw out its first LeMons overall win.

The LeMons Supreme Court’s traditional BRIBED stencil for the ’14 Hooptiefest refers to recent events that have put New Hampshire on the national radar screen.

The crazy Russians of Sputnik Racing have converted their Nissan Quest minivan into an excellent Monty Python and the Holy Grail-themed racing machine. We see a lot of Monty Python-themed LeMons teams, but never one with a cast this large, not to mention the first Black Knight costume that actually pumps “blood” from the arm stumps.

Speaking of medieval costumes, the Game of Crumple Zones Acura Integra team (winners of the Organizer’s Choice trophy at the Real Hoopties of New Jersey race) have constructed a “throne” out of a radiator and tire irons harvested from their local junkyard. The team also wears “crowns” made from old head gaskets and “rings” made from hose clamps.

Halloween may be the most LeMon-y holiday, and we saw many good costumes. Here’s a team that has chosen to dress not as characters from Smokey and the Bandit but as fans of the movie. That’s a distinction that’s probably lost on most normal people, but we get it.

The Merkurian Falcon team is back with their Skid Row Star Wars costumes. That Wookiee is looking pretty mangy.

The first team to bring a Volkswagen New Beetle to our series put together a credible Rocky Horror Picture Show theme.

3 Pedal Mafia celebrated Halloween by reprising all of their costumes from previous races.

The Lemontarians added a Chevrolet Citation X-11 to their stable, and the team put together a gigantic wedding party, complete with matching bridesmaids.

2 members of the team got married 20 years ago, and their honeymoon car was the groom’s daily-driver Citation X-11. So the team recreated both the car and the wedding for our race.

This Mustang had competed in East Coast LeMons events for the last couple of years with a 4-cylinder Pinto engine and a giant wing on the roof. For this race, the team converted the car into a Mad Max Falon XB.

Now, we’ve seen a more accurate Mad Max Aussie Falcon replica in our series, but did that car have a right-hand-drive conversion? This team imported a European Ford Granada steering box from the UK to make this happen.

In what may be a first for a Fox-body Mustang, his car now has Datsun L28 power, courtesy of the now-stripped-and-crushed Spaceballs-themed Datsun 280ZX.

The team even brought cans of Dinky-Di meat-and-vegies dog food!

With so many members of the Volkswagen Golf/Jetta family here, it takes something like this to stand out from the crowd.

The Super Grover Rover P6 is back for another shot at Class C glory.

If you’re looking for your first 24 Hours of LeMons car (and you don’t feel like choosing one of our wish-list cars), you could do a lot worse than an early Chevy Cavalier wagon. This car will be competing in Class C against the likes of the Sputnik Quest and the Super Grover Rover this weekend.

To see how the first day of racing at the ’14 Hooptiefest sorts out, check in on Saturday night.

LeMons New England: A lot of Audis, A lot of Forgotten GM Automobiles, and the World’s Most Evil Vanagon

Jaguar Commercial Employs Evil MI6 “Q” Character, Underground Lair, Holograms to Fantastic Impact

Jaguar advertising has been on a roll lately, with the whole “British villains drive Jags” thing resonating well with the brand’s outsider industry position and its really seductive lineup. The firm’s most recent commercial, however, may well just best them all, with a treasure trove of intelligently sinister references, as nicely as a confident swagger befitting a brand on the rise.

Mixing elements from the villainous series of spots, this newest ad, dubbed “British Intel,” sees a dashing young man entering what looks like an evil mastermind’s underground lair. The clever references start quickly: The man’s character is based on Q, James Bond’s MI6 tech guru, only he’s appropriately evil his turns of phrase mimic these of Q’s, but come across in decidedly unheroic terms. He outlines Jag’s signature features making use of an appropriately sinister holographic interface from a London Underground tube service bay. (Q’s laboratory has been located in a similar Underground location in some Bond films.)

“Every mastermind demands a button that wreaks havoc,” our sneaky presenter says prior to an engine starter button materializes and a wicked exhaust note cracks. This is followed by: ”If you need to get away at light speed, you can’t beat an aluminum chassis,” and “With power like this comes fantastic chance.” At this point, we are provided a glimpse of the new XE sedan just before the presenter throws a sheet back over it prior to adding, “Not yet, my pretty one.”

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It is a fantastic and entertaining spot that communicates most of what sets Jaguar apart from the usual luxury brands. The spot ends with evil Q accelerating down an empty London Underground tunnel in an F-variety R coupe and exclaiming, “Oh yes, there’s a technique to our madness.” Fans of British obscurities will get pleasure from that closing shot, considering that the Jaguar drives through London’s closed-down Aldwych Tube station, which marks the end of a one-stop, dead-end Underground line beneath Westminster. For the duration of World War II, the station and its attendant tunnels and anterooms had been used to retailer valuables from the British Museum. Later, one of its 2 platforms was closed and the tracks removed, creating it an ideal place from which to orchestrate a dark plot . . . or film this Jaguar commercial:

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Jaguar Commercial Employs Evil MI6 “Q” Character, Underground Lair, Holograms to Fantastic Impact