LeMons New England: A lot of Audis, A lot of Forgotten GM Automobiles, and the World’s Most Evil Vanagon

The 24 Hours of LeMons has returned to New Hampshire Motor Speedway for the third annual Halloween Hooptiefest, and we’ve got some fascinating machinery among the 130 or so entries that rolled into the garage for our traditional Friday car inspections. Let’s take a look!

First of all, the Mod Squad Vanagon made everyone stagger back in awe. The recipe: Take one third-gen Toyota MR2 that was wrapped around a shopping-mall light pole in a fit of ill-advised hoonage, take a Vanagon body and chop 11″ out of its height, do some cutting and pasting. Yes, it is now an MR2 with a giant box-shaped airbrake and 800 pounds of additional weight… and one of the greatest race cars we have ever seen. Will it be faster than the GoWesty LeMons Vanagon, with its VR6 power? We’ll see on Saturday.

We have more Audis at this race, by far, than we’ve seen at any previous LeMons event. This is partly due to the 5 identical V6-powered Audi 90s brought by the 4-rings-loving G-Tron Racing team, but we’ve got at least another 4 of the things at this race. Since A V6-engined 90 was the first Audi to take a win on laps in LeMons, there’s a small chance that we could see another Audi win (but that’s not the way to bet). Meanwhile, we also have more Subarus than at any previous race, so it’s conceivable that the car company that sports the Pleiades on its logo might manage to claw out its first LeMons overall win.

The LeMons Supreme Court’s traditional BRIBED stencil for the ’14 Hooptiefest refers to recent events that have put New Hampshire on the national radar screen.

The crazy Russians of Sputnik Racing have converted their Nissan Quest minivan into an excellent Monty Python and the Holy Grail-themed racing machine. We see a lot of Monty Python-themed LeMons teams, but never one with a cast this large, not to mention the first Black Knight costume that actually pumps “blood” from the arm stumps.

Speaking of medieval costumes, the Game of Crumple Zones Acura Integra team (winners of the Organizer’s Choice trophy at the Real Hoopties of New Jersey race) have constructed a “throne” out of a radiator and tire irons harvested from their local junkyard. The team also wears “crowns” made from old head gaskets and “rings” made from hose clamps.

Halloween may be the most LeMon-y holiday, and we saw many good costumes. Here’s a team that has chosen to dress not as characters from Smokey and the Bandit but as fans of the movie. That’s a distinction that’s probably lost on most normal people, but we get it.

The Merkurian Falcon team is back with their Skid Row Star Wars costumes. That Wookiee is looking pretty mangy.

The first team to bring a Volkswagen New Beetle to our series put together a credible Rocky Horror Picture Show theme.

3 Pedal Mafia celebrated Halloween by reprising all of their costumes from previous races.

The Lemontarians added a Chevrolet Citation X-11 to their stable, and the team put together a gigantic wedding party, complete with matching bridesmaids.

2 members of the team got married 20 years ago, and their honeymoon car was the groom’s daily-driver Citation X-11. So the team recreated both the car and the wedding for our race.

This Mustang had competed in East Coast LeMons events for the last couple of years with a 4-cylinder Pinto engine and a giant wing on the roof. For this race, the team converted the car into a Mad Max Falon XB.

Now, we’ve seen a more accurate Mad Max Aussie Falcon replica in our series, but did that car have a right-hand-drive conversion? This team imported a European Ford Granada steering box from the UK to make this happen.

In what may be a first for a Fox-body Mustang, his car now has Datsun L28 power, courtesy of the now-stripped-and-crushed Spaceballs-themed Datsun 280ZX.

The team even brought cans of Dinky-Di meat-and-vegies dog food!

With so many members of the Volkswagen Golf/Jetta family here, it takes something like this to stand out from the crowd.

The Super Grover Rover P6 is back for another shot at Class C glory.

If you’re looking for your first 24 Hours of LeMons car (and you don’t feel like choosing one of our wish-list cars), you could do a lot worse than an early Chevy Cavalier wagon. This car will be competing in Class C against the likes of the Sputnik Quest and the Super Grover Rover this weekend.

To see how the first day of racing at the ’14 Hooptiefest sorts out, check in on Saturday night.

LeMons New England: A lot of Audis, A lot of Forgotten GM Automobiles, and the World’s Most Evil Vanagon

The Forgotten Art of Map Reading

Way back when in 1997 mobile phones were just becoming part of my everyday life and it was a handy gadget to have especially as I had just bought my first 7.5 tonner at the age of 17 and I had started subbing for DFDS at Coggeshall, Essex. The one thing I would never have believed back then was that now a days there would be a gadget in in the cab that would have saved me from learning  what felt like every street across Essex, Suffolk, Norfolk, Cambridgeshire, Northamptonshire, Bedfordshire, Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire, Berkshire, Hampshire, Surrey, West Sussex, East Sussex, Kent and last but definitely not least, Greater London. In my first week I was given a day in London with something like 15 drops across the Greater London area, nice. Oh for those who aren’t sure, Greater London is probably easier described as everywhere inside the M25 circle. So age 17, 1st week of owning and driving my first Tonka toy and 15 drops across one of the worlds busiest cities, where do I start???! One of the other DFDS subbies said “Don’t worry son, just get yourself a hard back copy of the Master Atlas of Greater London and you’ll be fine.” – I couldn’t have had any better advice than that. So on the way down the A12 I stopped at a garage and found a copy of the London bible.

So just take this in for a minute, its 1997, I had X amount of drops (& collections) across the capital, a list of addresses, not many with postcodes and TWAT SAT NAV was no where to be seen. How did we ever cope I hear you ask. Pull up a sand bag and I’ll tell you a story. Once upon a time you could stop at a garage and buy these little paper paged books called road maps. You could buy them for counties or towns depending on what you required and basically they had pages full of the layout of your selected area. At the back was an index with a full list of roads and estates and these were listed with a page number and grid reference so you could find the road on the page in the map, amazing huh?? Using one of these town maps along side a bigger road Atlas you could pretty well find any where you wanted to go, all on your own without 22 satellite’s guiding you down an unsuitable one way street! Or even better than using the road map you’ve just bought you could use what we used to call common sense, most people had a bit of common sense as it was gained from parents and the school of hard knocks and tough luck. For example your honour; Station Road, Anytown. First up have a look on your map (if you have one of that area/town) and look for station road in the index or just for the station. If there is no visible station have a look to find the closest road to a railway line, simple. Again using a bit of common sense and a good map you can even work out where an old railway might have been. If you haven’t got a map you could always head towards the town and see if you could pick up the sign posts for the station. Or last but not least you could ask the local and they’d send you right round the town and back to where started and in the mean time with a bit of luck you’d stumble across Station road.

Now in London the streets are a plenty and the traffic lights and junctions are even more. So having to keep an eye on your hard back atlas was very easy or convenient so I found it best to tear the A4 page out. See the photo above. Still an A4 page isn’t so easy to hold, so when you are close enough you can fold the page to A5 size. Then finally when I was really close to where I needed to be I would fold again so its small enough to hold in finger and thumb. Please see my thumb below. I have to say that in day to day driving it was very much find your own way to your destination, no typing in a postcode and follow the arrows on your dash-mounted screen. All drivers back in these prehistoric times had to have a sound knowledge of the UK’s road ne2rk and most industrial towns and somehow we managed. In a previous life as a transport manager I watched a driver heading from Ipswich to Leamington Spa take the A14, M6, M42, M40 to his destination. When I quizzed him to why he went this long way round, I got the response “That’s what sat nav said”. Now call me an old stick in the mud but I asked if he had looked at his road atlas to check where he was going and I got a short silence and then the response “I haven’t got one”. Not impressed I confiscated the drivers twat sat nav for the following week. Now I hope he has a slight knowledge of the road ne2rk. Anyway I digress.

The beauty of a paper map over a twat sat nav is that I find I can always see more than I need to, which can only ever help you know where you are and what your surroundings are. For example heading into London the other Saturday as a passenger I decided we would have a Map-Off. This was fine and a good contest and we both arrived at the right place with no major dramas, but along the way I could check each street I passed and I could see how far ahead the next turning was, without having to wait for the 200 metre warning or what ever it is. Also looking at the map you can get some idea of what the road you are turning into is like or which way it goes, something which twat sat nav can’t do very well. The one downside I found to the paper map is that it doesn’t light up when you enter a tunnel!!

I challenge any driver who isn’t a map reader to take up the challenge and try and get yourself across the country with no twat sat nav. At the end of the day you might just find that you have some sort of new found satisfaction in your day to day job. Twat Sat navs do have their uses and I for one do like that fact they can tell you how far you are from your destination and I can never argue against the fact that some one shouting directions at you is far safer than reading a map while driving along or each time you stop. My biggest fear is that the beauty of a good map is lost on all new drivers. Where’s the sense of direction that you all had to find the nearest sweet shop when you were a kid? Does anyone else agree that all drivers should have an understanding of where about’s they are in the country and what other roads are available to the one your on with no help from the NASA convention on your dashboard?? In the worst case we know that at 12 o’clock the sun is in the west and we want to be just to the right of that, so we best take that tangent………………..

The Forgotten Art of Map Reading

The Forgotten Art of Map Reading

Way back when in 1997 mobile phones have been just becoming component of my daily life and it was a handy gadget to have especially as I had just bought my very first 7.5 tonner at the age of 17 and I had began subbing for DFDS at Coggeshall, Essex. The a single point I would never ever have believed back then was that now a days there would be a gadget in in the cab that would have saved me from learning  what felt like every single street across Essex, Suffolk, Norfolk, Cambridgeshire, Northamptonshire, Bedfordshire, Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire, Berkshire, Hampshire, Surrey, West Sussex, East Sussex, Kent and final but certainly not least, Higher London. In my initial week I was provided a day in London with anything like 15 drops across the Greater London area, good. Oh for these who are not confident, Greater London is probably easier described as everywhere inside the M25 circle. So age 17, 1st week of owning and driving my first Tonka toy and 15 drops across one particular of the worlds busiest cities, exactly where do I start???! One of the other DFDS subbies said “Don’t worry son, just get oneself a tough back copy of the Master Atlas of Higher London and you’ll be fine.” – I couldn’t have had any greater suggestions than that. So on the way down the A12 I stopped at a garage and identified a copy of the London bible.

So just take this in for a minute, its 1997, I had X quantity of drops (& collections) across the capital, a list of addresses, not a lot of with postcodes and TWAT SAT NAV was no where to be observed. How did we ever cope I hear you ask. Pull up a sand bag and I’ll inform you a story. After upon a time you could quit at a garage and buy these little paper paged books called road maps. You could get them for counties or towns based on what you necessary and essentially they had pages complete of the layout of your chosen location. At the back was an index with a complete list of roads and estates and these were listed with a web page number and grid reference so you could uncover the road on the page in the map, amazing huh?? Utilizing a single of these town maps along side a bigger road Atlas you could pretty nicely find any where you wanted to go, all on your own with out 22 satellite’s guiding you down an unsuitable one way street! Or even far better than using the road map you have just bought you could use what we used to get in touch with widespread sense, most people had a bit of frequent sense as it was gained from parents and the college of tough knocks and tough luck. For example your honour Station Road, Anytown. Initial up have a appear on your map (if you have a single of that region/town) and appear for station road in the index or just for the station. If there is no visible station have a look to locate the closest road to a railway line, simple. Once more making use of a bit of widespread sense and a excellent map you can even function out exactly where an old railway might have been. If you haven’t got a map you could often head towards the town and see if you could pick up the sign posts for the station. Or final but not least you could ask the local and they’d send you proper round the town and back to exactly where began and in the mean time with a bit of luck you’d stumble across Station road.

Now in London the streets are a plenty and the traffic lights and junctions are even more. So possessing to maintain an eye on your challenging back atlas was quite straightforward or convenient so I located it very best to tear the A4 web page out. See the photo above. Nevertheless an A4 web page isn’t so effortless to hold, so when you are close adequate you can fold the web page to A5 size. Then lastly when I was really close to where I needed to be I would fold again so its modest adequate to hold in finger and thumb. Please see my thumb below. I have to say that in day to day driving it was extremely a lot discover your own way to your location, no typing in a postcode and stick to the arrows on your dash-mounted screen. All drivers back in these prehistoric times had to have a sound information of the UK’s road ne2rk and most industrial towns and somehow we managed. In a preceding life as a transport manager I watched a driver heading from Ipswich to Leamington Spa take the A14, M6, M42, M40 to his destination. When I quizzed him to why he went this long way round, I got the response “That’s what sat nav said”. Now get in touch with me an old stick in the mud but I asked if he had looked at his road atlas to check exactly where he was going and I got a quick silence and then the response “I haven’t got one”. Not impressed I confiscated the drivers twat sat nav for the following week. Now I hope he has a slight understanding of the road ne2rk. Anyway I digress.

The beauty of a paper map over a twat sat nav is that I find I can constantly see more than I require to, which can only ever aid you know where you are and what your surroundings are. For example heading into London the other Saturday as a passenger I decided we would have a Map-Off. This was fine and a good contest and we both arrived at the appropriate location with no major dramas, but along the way I could verify each and every street I passed and I could see how far ahead the subsequent turning was, with no possessing to wait for the 200 metre warning or what ever it is. Also seeking at the map you can get some idea of what the road you are turning into is like or which way it goes, some thing which twat sat nav can not do very well. The one downside I found to the paper map is that it does not light up when you enter a tunnel!!

I challenge any driver who isn’t a map reader to take up the challenge and attempt and get yourself across the country with no twat sat nav. At the finish of the day you may just locate that you have some sort of new identified satisfaction in your day to day job. Twat Sat navs do have their utilizes and I for a single do like that reality they can inform you how far you are from your location and I can by no means argue against the truth that some one shouting directions at you is far safer than reading a map although driving along or every single time you stop. My largest worry is that the beauty of a very good map is lost on all new drivers. Where’s the sense of direction that you all had to discover the nearest sweet shop when you had been a kid? Does anybody else agree that all drivers must have an understanding of where about’s they are in the nation and what other roads are accessible to the one particular your on with no help from the NASA convention on your dashboard?? In the worst case we know that at 12 o’clock the sun is in the west and we want to be just to the right of that, so we greatest take that tangent………………..

The Forgotten Art of Map Reading

The Forgotten Art of Map Reading

Way back when in 1997 mobile phones have been just becoming element of my every day life and it was a handy gadget to have specifically as I had just bought my 1st 7.5 tonner at the age of 17 and I had began subbing for DFDS at Coggeshall, Essex. The one issue I would in no way have believed back then was that now a days there would be a gadget in in the cab that would have saved me from learning  what felt like each street across Essex, Suffolk, Norfolk, Cambridgeshire, Northamptonshire, Bedfordshire, Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Oxfordshire, Berkshire, Hampshire, Surrey, West Sussex, East Sussex, Kent and final but definitely not least, Higher London. In my very first week I was offered a day in London with some thing like 15 drops across the Higher London location, good. Oh for those who are not certain, Higher London is possibly less difficult described as everywhere inside the M25 circle. So age 17, 1st week of owning and driving my very first Tonka toy and 15 drops across 1 of the worlds busiest cities, where do I start off???! One particular of the other DFDS subbies mentioned “Don’t be concerned son, just get yourself a difficult back copy of the Master Atlas of Higher London and you will be fine.” – I couldn’t have had any much better suggestions than that. So on the way down the A12 I stopped at a garage and found a copy of the London bible.

So just take this in for a minute, its 1997, I had X quantity of drops (& collections) across the capital, a list of addresses, not many with postcodes and TWAT SAT NAV was no exactly where to be seen. How did we ever cope I hear you ask. Pull up a sand bag and I’ll inform you a story. After upon a time you could quit at a garage and get these small paper paged books called road maps. You could purchase them for counties or towns depending on what you essential and basically they had pages complete of the layout of your chosen area. At the back was an index with a full list of roads and estates and these had been listed with a page number and grid reference so you could discover the road on the web page in the map, amazing huh?? Making use of a single of these town maps along side a larger road Atlas you could fairly properly find any exactly where you wanted to go, all on your personal with no 22 satellite’s guiding you down an unsuitable one way street! Or even greater than employing the road map you have just bought you could use what we utilized to contact typical sense, most individuals had a bit of frequent sense as it was gained from parents and the college of tough knocks and hard luck. For example your honour Station Road, Anytown. 1st up have a look on your map (if you have one particular of that area/town) and look for station road in the index or just for the station. If there is no visible station have a appear to find the closest road to a railway line, basic. Once again employing a bit of frequent sense and a good map you can even function out exactly where an old railway may well have been. If you haven’t got a map you could often head towards the town and see if you could choose up the sign posts for the station. Or final but not least you could ask the neighborhood and they’d send you right round the town and back to where began and in the imply time with a bit of luck you’d stumble across Station road.

Now in London the streets are a lots and the site visitors lights and junctions are even a lot more. So possessing to maintain an eye on your difficult back atlas was really simple or handy so I discovered it very best to tear the A4 web page out. See the photo above. Nevertheless an A4 web page isn’t so easy to hold, so when you are close sufficient you can fold the web page to A5 size. Then finally when I was really close to where I required to be I would fold again so its small enough to hold in finger and thumb. Please see my thumb beneath. I have to say that in day to day driving it was very a lot uncover your own way to your location, no typing in a postcode and adhere to the arrows on your dash-mounted screen. All drivers back in these prehistoric instances had to have a sound expertise of the UK’s road ne2rk and most industrial towns and somehow we managed. In a prior life as a transport manager I watched a driver heading from Ipswich to Leamington Spa take the A14, M6, M42, M40 to his location. When I quizzed him to why he went this long way round, I got the response “That’s what sat nav said”. Now call me an old stick in the mud but I asked if he had looked at his road atlas to verify where he was going and I got a quick silence and then the response “I haven’t got one”. Not impressed I confiscated the drivers twat sat nav for the following week. Now I hope he has a slight expertise of the road ne2rk. Anyway I digress.

The beauty of a paper map over a twat sat nav is that I uncover I can constantly see a lot more than I require to, which can only ever aid you know where you are and what your surroundings are. For instance heading into London the other Saturday as a passenger I decided we would have a Map-Off. This was fine and a good contest and we each arrived at the right place with no major dramas, but along the way I could verify each street I passed and I could see how far ahead the subsequent turning was, without having possessing to wait for the 200 metre warning or what ever it is. Also hunting at the map you can get some notion of what the road you are turning into is like or which way it goes, something which twat sat nav can’t do very effectively. the one downside I found to the paper map is that it does not light up when you enter a tunnel!!

I challenge any driver who is not a map reader to take up the challenge and attempt and get yourself across the country with no twat sat nav. At the finish of the day you may possibly just discover that you have some sort of new found satisfaction in your day to day job. Twat Sat navs do have their uses and I for one do like that truth they can tell you how far you are from your location and I can never argue against the truth that some 1 shouting directions at you is far safer than reading a map whilst driving along or every time you stop. My greatest worry is that the beauty of a good map is lost on all new drivers. Where’s the sense of direction that you all had to uncover the nearest sweet shop when you have been a kid? Does anybody else agree that all drivers ought to have an understanding of exactly where about’s they are in the nation and what other roads are available to the one particular your on with no aid from the NASA convention on your dashboard?? In the worst case we know that at 12 o’clock the sun is in the west and we want to be just to the right of that, so we best take that tangent………………..

The Forgotten Art of Map Reading