At the second annual There Goes the Neighborhood 24 Hours of LeMons (and our sixth visit to New Jersey Motorsports Park because our first race there in 2011), we saw many movie-themed teams and our first 4-billion-lap penalty on Friday, German vehicles pushed entirely out of the upper reaches of the standings on Saturday, and a bunch of teams go property with trophies on Sunday. Here’s what occurred.
Although cold, tough statistics prove that the Volvo 240 is the very best 24 Hours of LeMons automobile, and many of the beloved Swedish bricks have finished in the best 5 of the standings in our races, only 2 have ever stood at the best of the heap when the checkered flag waved: the Mustard Yellow Volvo Doing 45 In the Quick Lane, which took the win at the 2009 Buttonwillow Histrionics with the most dramatic finish in LeMons history… and the winner of the 2014 There Goes the Neighborhood race on Sunday: the Keystone Kops and their ’79 Volvo 242.
The Kops have been around given that the really early days of the 24 Hours of LeMons, creating their debut at the 1st-ever East Coast occasion and the eighth LeMons race all round (we’re now on #117): the 2008 New England 24 Hours of LeMons. They run a 244 sedan with a turbocharged Volvo engine and a 242 coupe with a Ford 302 swap, and they’ve had at least 1 automobile in the single-digit portion of the standings in just about each and every race considering that they began. Finally, the 2-door “Jew-Wop-E” (so named, in quite East Coast style, due to the fact all of its drivers are of Jewish or Italian ancestry) managed to keep away from blowing up and/or getting buried in black flags at a race, and the Keystone Cops took the Class A and all round wins by 4 laps over the Toyota Solara of Team FRS’s Ugly Uncle. Soon after 6 years, the Kops have accomplished it!
In Class B, we have another Volvo feelgood story: Quickly Al’s Race Group, running a Volvo 745 with automatic transmission, had been pursing an elusive class win for years— possibly not really as several years as the Keystone Kops, but a extended, long time.
Every race, it seemed, F.A.R.T. would hold off the Class B challengers by a lap or 2 for most of the weekend, then throw a connecting rod or scatter a transmission or melt the wiring harness (the Volvo 740 has been far significantly less reputable than its 240 predecessor in our races). Then, finally, the Quickly Al’s wagon squeezed past the other Class B cars and stayed there, taking the win by a not-so-comfy few hundred yards over the Massholes and their Ford Escort. Congratulations, Quick Al’s Racing Group!
Class C went to the group DeCuzzi Racing Gulf a Fiero and their ’86 Pontiac Fiero. This automobile set down some good lap times, managing to avoid the typical Fiero fate of blowing up and requiring in depth and time-consuming repairs, and completed P35 overall and 10 laps up in its class.
The Most Heroic Repair trophy was awarded to Scuderia Regurgito (Dom’s Racing Team) for repairs produced to the thoroughly destroyed engine in their 1992 BMW 325i. In the words of LeMons Supreme Court Justice Matt Adair: “Car is smoking massively on track, they pull more than and attempt to turn it off. It won’t turn off. Track goes red flag although it is sorted out and towed into the paddock (whilst running). They finish up cutting the battery cables…still running. They cut the alternator wire…still operating. They cut the wires to the coil packs…still operating. Lastly they reduce all the wires to the harness…still running. Ultimately they empty a fire extinguisher into the intake and it shuts off. That night, they supply a new motor, set up it, re-wire the automobile, and somehow make it back out and run most of Sunday.”
Sometimes the I Got Screwed award goes to a team… and often it goes to an individual. In this case, Group G-Tron hired a local mechanic named Mattie to prep a trio of matching 1995 Audi 90s for the race. When the vehicles showed up for the inspections, they failed the gear verify on numerous counts apiece, and so Mattie had to be hired to come back to the track and thrash the cars into sufficiently very good shape to pass the tech inspection. Then he had to spend the weekend in an Audi-wrenching frenzy to keep the cars (sort of) running, whilst the racers— described by Chief Perp Jay Lamm as “a group of Audi Club D-bags”— hovered more than him. For this, Mattie brings property the I Got Screwed trophy.
For the Judges’ Option award, how could the LeMons Supreme Court offer you this trophy to any team that didn’t race a 2000 Nissan Quest minivan? Sputnik Racing— yes, the same Sputnik Racing that shepherded the Worst Auto In LeMons History for a lot of its travels around the continent final year— pleased the judges extremely much with their selection of racin’ machinery.
The Game of Crumplezones Acura Integra and group costumes earned the Organizer’s Decision trophy, for obvious reasons.
For every race, we develop a unique regional and/or race-particular trophy. This time that trophy was the Ideal Non-Group Team Theme, for this highly correct “London Bus” constructed by a group of race spectators.
The top prize of LeMons racing, the Index of Effluency, goes to the group that achieves far beyond any affordable expectations with a automobile that by no means belonged anyplace close to a race track. In this case, Team Prompt Vital Racing managed to flog their 1974 Mk1 Ford Capri (number 235, naturally) all the way up to P44 (out of 126 entries beginning the race), nearly taking the Class C prize in the method. Regardless of what European Capri fans may possibly inform you, this is a single of the worst achievable vehicles to enter in a LeMons race (specially with the deeply flawed Cologne V6, which is what powers the Prompt Vital car), and a almost-in-the-prime-third finish for this car is as a result an astounding achievement. Well accomplished, Prompt Crucial Racing!
Photographs by Matt Adair, John Abronski, Murilee Martin, Kim Harmon, and Nick Pon
24 Hours of LeMons New Jersey: The Winners!
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