With the high Saturday temperature for Buttonwillow barely reaching 98 degrees F, LeMons racers reveled in climate roughly 400% cooler than the prior year’s sweat-fest.
Regardless of the chilly weather, mechanical attrition was higher: A random spot verify at the 5-hour mark revealed that almost fifty percent of the 120-auto entry list was paddock-bound.
For some teams, even though, being hella blow’d-ass up was merely a temporary situation. Take, for instance, the OMShenanigans BMW 735i. The racing gods, evidently not impressed with the basic excellence of the team’s choice to road-race a frickin’ BMW 735i, cursed them with a blown engine just a few hours in.
No worries, said the group: This other dude on our group brought his 735i street automobile, and we can just take the motor out of that!
Even ignoring the short-term logistics troubles (such as, “how does that dude whose car that is that we ripped that motor out of get residence?”), tearing apart a perfectly good street car to aid your LeMons heap get back on track is, basically, just a remarkably bad notion. Undaunted, the OMShenanigans crew swapped the motor out in surprisingly short order, and hustled the large Bimmer back on track.
In the battles for class trophies, Cerveza Racing discovered itself in familiar position atop each the Class A and All round standings at the finish of day a single. This result came despite getting hit with 4 BS laps on Friday (“Jay doesn’t enjoy us any longer,” one Cerveza pilot glumly stated)—that disadvantage was gone faster than the contents of the Free Flowmasters Bin at the National Mustang Convention.
n Class B, the Super Troop Mercury Zephyr hung on to a couple-lap lead more than the Chevy Aveo of Red Hot Chili Poopers.
Although net mouth-breathers may possibly ponder why the LeMons Supreme Court put a V8 Fox-chassis Ford in Class B, the Judges clearly recognized the classing leeway offered to teams with stupid cop outfits and a homemade stuffed bear.
Also, they’re nevertheless barely beating a Chevy Aveo. And also, the Fox-chassis Ford kinda sucks.
Class C offered some midday excitement when it was found that the Hella Shitty Subaru-powered VW Beetle was 1. Leading Class C, and 2. Was supposed to be in Class A. When the Beetle was correctly classed (“I knew that must have been a clerical error,” stated Hella Shitty captain Philipp von Weitershausen), the question became, Who the Fudge is Major the Ideal Class in LeMons? A swift scan of the standings revealed that auto 122 had inherited the lead, but which vehicle was that? Right after attempting unsuccessfully to spot the car from trackside, LeMons staff began back toward the paddock to check the registration paperwork. Then, a spectator new to LeMons casually remarked, “Oh, the 122 is the automobile with the massive letter K on the roof.”
No wonder the employees couldn’t find it—it’s about the furthest point from anyone’s mind to appear for the &^%$ @! K-Car when attempting to discover a class leader. Naturally, in the waning minutes of the Saturday session, the K-Vehicle discovered itself in its organic habitat—in the paddock, with the hood up, surrounded by a bevy of befuddled individuals—and the utterly atrocious Porsche 914 of La Honda Bandits Racing took over the top spot in Class C.
Will the 914 take property a class win? Tune in later to locate out! (Or, if you do not want to, we can go ahead and say, uh, most likely not.)
LeMons Southern California Day 1: Nearly Every Vehicle Broken, BMW 5-series Ahead of Scattered Survivors
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